Ironic Advent 2017 Meditation #4:
Saint Nicholas: Heresy Hunter
I am not really necessary (I'd sort of like to let that be a complete sentence, since I feel that way a lot these days, but . . .) to speak up on behalf of Saint Nicholas specifically and heretics and heresy hunters in general. Obvs, they get a lot of bad press in these days of blurred distinctions, fuzzy definitions, careless creeds, and long but thin prepositional phrases (like this one). Still, as heretics and heresy hunters, they should be able to stand up for their own damned and damning selves.
And yet . . . and yet. I do, in fact, want to speak up on behalf of both heresy and heresy hunters in this slightly late but still, I hope, crazed prophetic hallucinatory non-journalistic thrill ride known as Ben Camino's Ironic Advent Meditation for the Feast of Saint Nicholas.
Yes, yes, I know that I'm several days late for the big Saint Nicholas celebration (some of you are like, the what what?). Yes, yes, despite the fact that I am a man of letters, a humanist of the old-fashioned sort, I can count. To six at least. The truth is, I actually did begin to write this meditation on December 6, but certain circumstances intervened. Little things like complete physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual exhaustion were part of the problem. Also I left my meds at home and was away from home. Also left my computer at home and was away from home. Also no dinner because I forgot to eat and was away from home. Also no mojo because I had no dinner. Also because I was playing music. Also because I was celebrating the anniversary of something that made me sad to celebrate. Other than that, this baby would have been right on time. In the Nick of time you might say. You might. I wouldn't.
Anyway(s), there's no time like the present like my old grandpappy used to always say. Sometimes. So here goes.
I remember a few years ago, well a decade or so ago, well a decade and a half ago, when a friend of mine was accused of heresy. I'm not making this up. If you Muggles travel in the Ben Camino multi-verse for a while, you might experience interesting and maybe disturbing things. Finally, he was released from his contract and paid some money which was a way of saying we think you are a heretic but we aren't going to make you say so and you are free to go spread heresy elsewhere. I think.
What I remember most distinctly was my son saying something like: "we still have heresy trials? Is that still a thing dad?"
Not sure what I said then. But here is what I say now. In my five days late Saint Nicholas meditation.
Yes son. Yes we do. Yes, we should. Well, I don't care about trials, as such. But yes, I assume there is still heresy, I assume there are still reasons to call heresy heresy, and I assume it might be necessary to do something about it (although like some medications not to mention Crab Rangoon, this should only be a last resort and should not become an addiction).
I'm guessing that most of us hate this idea. I do too when I'm being lazy and letting television comedians do my serious political/social/cultural thinking for me. But they are my best evidence for the deep cultural need for heresy, heresy hunting, and heresy . . . talk. For Saint Nicholas and his kin, that is. No, not those who give us presents, although I like presents and hope to get many of them during the Christmas season (which as you may not know doesn't even start for another two weeks and stretches until January 6). But those who, like Saint Nicholas, make fine distinctions and argue for them. The legend that Saint Nicholas slapped the heretic Arius is not necessarily to the point, although I was happy to use it for ironic fodder in an earlier meditation found here.
Our liberal, anything goes, love you too, everything-is kinda'-blurry-so-please-don't-try-to-make-me-pin-down- any-beliefs-or-anything contemporary culture is IRONICALLY judgmental as you know what. Reinforced not so much by the church but by whichever brand of news programming you ingest, whichever Facebook groups to which you belong, or, as I said before, by late-night comedian/journalist/socialcritic/entertainers. And it's mostly reinforced by shame rather than discussion of ideas. I'm painting with broad strokes. Sure. As are they. As are we. Good (or not so good, really I don't care about that) Old Saint Nick may or may not have slapped Arius. But, dang, they talked the heck out those ideas for years before the slapping commenced.
My point is that we HATE (I want to put more syllables in that but couldn't find a way) people who make the kind of distinctions and judgments that we ourselves are making ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME. We are just making them about other things. Try explaining to some people why it's NOT OK NOT to proclaim "Black Lives Matter." And try explaining to some other people why it's OK NOT to proclaim "Black Lives Matter." Whaaaatttt? There is no discussion. You are not worth the discussion if you disagree with me.
Sorry for using the obvious go-to example, but we could all come up with a million examples, including whether Taylor Swift should be taken seriously. Do not say the wrong thing. Somebody gonna' slap you and he might be called Nick. Or Kanye.
I know. I know. I came back from complete physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion (not to mention the meds and no dinner) to write this? Yep. Been chewing on it for a long time. Bless you my heretics. Bless you my heresy hunters. Argue it out. Make fine distinctions. Show me your charts (but please no pie diagrams, not until Christmas which is still two weeks away but lasts until January 6).
Our problem is not that we have heretics and heresy hunters (those who argue against and oppose the heretics). Our problem is that we silence the discussion, the argument, the dialogue, the church councils (and whatever group we want to get together to decide whether Taylor S is a serious artiste or not).
But seriously. Somebody said, once. No more Jim Crow. Heretics changed the world. Somebody once said, guitars are OK in church (they may have been wrong, actually). Somebody is still saying, we can drive horse-buggies but not cars. Personally, I'm not fighting over the car heresy, but I think it might be helpful for a group which agrees together to define shalom in certain ways to maintain their borders on that question and others.
Well, of course, silencing the heretics and the heresy hunters is not our only problem. The other problem is HOW we go about this thing. Yes, we need to disagree, argue, and even point out the errors of our opponents if we are going to continue to be a.) rational creatures and b.) claim to value the truth (defined for the time being as the truth as we see it after working hard to see it clearly). But that shouldn't involve doing violence against those who disagree with us. I get no brownie points for arguing against torture, burning at the stake, or the use of the sword of government to settle these arguments.
BUT, we still believe theft is wrong, even if we don't execute thieves (or cut off their hands). We still believe racism is wrong even if there is no way of punishing someone who has a heart and mind that we would love to change if we could.
The point is that it's not our disagreements, even our deepest ones, that are destroying us. It's our failure, really our slothful refusal to engage each other seriously in long, complicated, difficult, complex discussion. It won't happen on Facebook. It won't happen on the John Oliver show itself (although his show and many others can serve to highlight the topics, you might say, of our necessary cultural arguments). I'm starting to worry that it won't happen on our college campuses, but I'm holding on to some hope. It might happen in our coffee houses, if we took out our earbuds. It might happen in . . . our churches. There need not be a contradiction between robust discussion about our theological/cultural borders and the preservation (and sometimes revision) of those borders. There are, after all, Church Councils as well as reformations of all kinds.
Charges of heresy by heresy hunters of our time are greater than ever. We just don't use the word. And the issues, to a great degree, have changed (for better or worse). I don't see that changing anytime soon because it is a way that cultural groups (large and small, from huge body politics to small splinter religious groups who don't drive cars) represent, resist, revise, maintain, and preserve their identities.
The kind of cultural discussion I'm talking about here, now that I re-read it, sounds like a fantasy. Like another Ben Camino pipe-dream. Alright. I'm pressing "publish" anyway(s). But y'all help me/us with some ideas if you think it's worthwhile.
Shantih. Shantih. Shantih. Slap.
And yet . . . and yet. I do, in fact, want to speak up on behalf of both heresy and heresy hunters in this slightly late but still, I hope, crazed prophetic hallucinatory non-journalistic thrill ride known as Ben Camino's Ironic Advent Meditation for the Feast of Saint Nicholas.
Yes, yes, I know that I'm several days late for the big Saint Nicholas celebration (some of you are like, the what what?). Yes, yes, despite the fact that I am a man of letters, a humanist of the old-fashioned sort, I can count. To six at least. The truth is, I actually did begin to write this meditation on December 6, but certain circumstances intervened. Little things like complete physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual exhaustion were part of the problem. Also I left my meds at home and was away from home. Also left my computer at home and was away from home. Also no dinner because I forgot to eat and was away from home. Also no mojo because I had no dinner. Also because I was playing music. Also because I was celebrating the anniversary of something that made me sad to celebrate. Other than that, this baby would have been right on time. In the Nick of time you might say. You might. I wouldn't.
Anyway(s), there's no time like the present like my old grandpappy used to always say. Sometimes. So here goes.
I remember a few years ago, well a decade or so ago, well a decade and a half ago, when a friend of mine was accused of heresy. I'm not making this up. If you Muggles travel in the Ben Camino multi-verse for a while, you might experience interesting and maybe disturbing things. Finally, he was released from his contract and paid some money which was a way of saying we think you are a heretic but we aren't going to make you say so and you are free to go spread heresy elsewhere. I think.
What I remember most distinctly was my son saying something like: "we still have heresy trials? Is that still a thing dad?"
Not sure what I said then. But here is what I say now. In my five days late Saint Nicholas meditation.
Yes son. Yes we do. Yes, we should. Well, I don't care about trials, as such. But yes, I assume there is still heresy, I assume there are still reasons to call heresy heresy, and I assume it might be necessary to do something about it (although like some medications not to mention Crab Rangoon, this should only be a last resort and should not become an addiction).
I'm guessing that most of us hate this idea. I do too when I'm being lazy and letting television comedians do my serious political/social/cultural thinking for me. But they are my best evidence for the deep cultural need for heresy, heresy hunting, and heresy . . . talk. For Saint Nicholas and his kin, that is. No, not those who give us presents, although I like presents and hope to get many of them during the Christmas season (which as you may not know doesn't even start for another two weeks and stretches until January 6). But those who, like Saint Nicholas, make fine distinctions and argue for them. The legend that Saint Nicholas slapped the heretic Arius is not necessarily to the point, although I was happy to use it for ironic fodder in an earlier meditation found here.
Our liberal, anything goes, love you too, everything-is kinda'-blurry-so-please-don't-try-to-make-me-pin-down- any-beliefs-or-anything contemporary culture is IRONICALLY judgmental as you know what. Reinforced not so much by the church but by whichever brand of news programming you ingest, whichever Facebook groups to which you belong, or, as I said before, by late-night comedian/journalist/socialcritic/entertainers. And it's mostly reinforced by shame rather than discussion of ideas. I'm painting with broad strokes. Sure. As are they. As are we. Good (or not so good, really I don't care about that) Old Saint Nick may or may not have slapped Arius. But, dang, they talked the heck out those ideas for years before the slapping commenced.
My point is that we HATE (I want to put more syllables in that but couldn't find a way) people who make the kind of distinctions and judgments that we ourselves are making ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME. We are just making them about other things. Try explaining to some people why it's NOT OK NOT to proclaim "Black Lives Matter." And try explaining to some other people why it's OK NOT to proclaim "Black Lives Matter." Whaaaatttt? There is no discussion. You are not worth the discussion if you disagree with me.
Sorry for using the obvious go-to example, but we could all come up with a million examples, including whether Taylor Swift should be taken seriously. Do not say the wrong thing. Somebody gonna' slap you and he might be called Nick. Or Kanye.
I know. I know. I came back from complete physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual exhaustion (not to mention the meds and no dinner) to write this? Yep. Been chewing on it for a long time. Bless you my heretics. Bless you my heresy hunters. Argue it out. Make fine distinctions. Show me your charts (but please no pie diagrams, not until Christmas which is still two weeks away but lasts until January 6).
Our problem is not that we have heretics and heresy hunters (those who argue against and oppose the heretics). Our problem is that we silence the discussion, the argument, the dialogue, the church councils (and whatever group we want to get together to decide whether Taylor S is a serious artiste or not).
But seriously. Somebody said, once. No more Jim Crow. Heretics changed the world. Somebody once said, guitars are OK in church (they may have been wrong, actually). Somebody is still saying, we can drive horse-buggies but not cars. Personally, I'm not fighting over the car heresy, but I think it might be helpful for a group which agrees together to define shalom in certain ways to maintain their borders on that question and others.
Well, of course, silencing the heretics and the heresy hunters is not our only problem. The other problem is HOW we go about this thing. Yes, we need to disagree, argue, and even point out the errors of our opponents if we are going to continue to be a.) rational creatures and b.) claim to value the truth (defined for the time being as the truth as we see it after working hard to see it clearly). But that shouldn't involve doing violence against those who disagree with us. I get no brownie points for arguing against torture, burning at the stake, or the use of the sword of government to settle these arguments.
BUT, we still believe theft is wrong, even if we don't execute thieves (or cut off their hands). We still believe racism is wrong even if there is no way of punishing someone who has a heart and mind that we would love to change if we could.
The point is that it's not our disagreements, even our deepest ones, that are destroying us. It's our failure, really our slothful refusal to engage each other seriously in long, complicated, difficult, complex discussion. It won't happen on Facebook. It won't happen on the John Oliver show itself (although his show and many others can serve to highlight the topics, you might say, of our necessary cultural arguments). I'm starting to worry that it won't happen on our college campuses, but I'm holding on to some hope. It might happen in our coffee houses, if we took out our earbuds. It might happen in . . . our churches. There need not be a contradiction between robust discussion about our theological/cultural borders and the preservation (and sometimes revision) of those borders. There are, after all, Church Councils as well as reformations of all kinds.
Charges of heresy by heresy hunters of our time are greater than ever. We just don't use the word. And the issues, to a great degree, have changed (for better or worse). I don't see that changing anytime soon because it is a way that cultural groups (large and small, from huge body politics to small splinter religious groups who don't drive cars) represent, resist, revise, maintain, and preserve their identities.
The kind of cultural discussion I'm talking about here, now that I re-read it, sounds like a fantasy. Like another Ben Camino pipe-dream. Alright. I'm pressing "publish" anyway(s). But y'all help me/us with some ideas if you think it's worthwhile.
Shantih. Shantih. Shantih. Slap.
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