Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Ben Camino's Ironic Advent Meditation 2019 #4: the problem with waiting

the problem with waiting (after George Herbert)

 Image result for the midnight desert

the problem with waiting is the problem of misplaced focus
as in
why am i waiting for that which I know not except by 
promise (which is to say, by possibility but not yet, if ever, presence)

when a perfectly fine right now  right here 
presents itself to my
eyes and heart and guts and soul and Soul
on this road which I refuse to see as 
simply a process or pilgrimage

but instead a chance to bite creation itself on the very backside
of being
or, put another way, 
to give myself fully to this now rather than pray for that then

I mean to give up crying (or bellyaching, as the kind giant put it) for the ghost of all I need that may not ever anyway be
and to hold tight and wrestle all night with the angel/demon of the pathless midnight desert

and then, like an apogean voice sent down from nowhere but stuck forever in some Seventeenth Century devotional lyric,
I am addressed, possessed, known well, washed clean of all my wallowing excuses, 
and invited to hold the hand of Love
all the forever way down the endless path 
to nothing but

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