Ben Camino's Ironic Buddhist Meditation #000
Let's build a bridge shall we?
It's hard enough to know what the Buddha said
let alone what he meant
I trust though that he meant
for me today to read his words --
in plainspoken Midwestern American English --
sans sanskrit thank you very much
with lots of underlining for adequate inspirational emphasis
on the square iconic eraser board
in the chiropractor's sterile waiting room
decorated with bright autumn leaves
and acorns in the four corners of the sacred sign
symbolizing no doubt the Four Noble Truths
the truth of suffering
the truth of the cause of suffering
the truth of the end of suffering
the truth of the pathway that leads to the end of suffering
about suffering I know only this
I am here to get a massage
I can count on one hand how many massages I have had in my life
(and I have lived long)
unless you count the ones my kids gave me --
mostly by walking or standing on my back
while watching Sesame Street or whatever
Disney video we were consuming in some earlier stage of suffering
so this moment being rare and therefore
rather religious
I was ready I guess for an Indiana-framed
Buddhist cliché to go along with
all of the Christian clichés I heave heard, hear now, will hear again
spouted by all these Christian Buddhas --
spouting, spitting at me for half a century
one bad cliche deserves another.
I walked in, said hello to Sadie behind the window
saw the Buddha's message for my moment
and still standing amazed heard the opening screams and congas
of the Rolling Stones' Sympathy for the Devil
vibrating from the speakers of this healing oasis
Each Morning We
are Born Again. [yah!] What
we do Today is what [congas getting louder]
Matters Most
------ Buddha
Please allow me to introduce myself,
I'm a man of wealth and taste . . . .
Dazed for a split second of infinity
I realized that I didn't have my phone with me
to record the sutra floating on Sadie's bulletin board
when Trina the masseuse came in and said
"come on back, we're all ready for ya!"
Pleased to meet you,
hope you guess my name . . . .
Trina likes Enya and stuff like that
or at least pretends to given her line of work
anyway(s) I'm pretty sure Buddha liked Enya too and would like Trina for that matter
taking his mind off other graver matters
like dukkha the condition of all existing
dis-ease, primal suffering, the works.
That music drives me crazy though
and I was about to jump out of my skin --
which was pretty much all I had on given the nature of nature
and the logistics of soothing the muscles and joints
of a would-be monk longing to travel the sky in lotus position
or touch and stroke the sun and moon with tender hands --
when Trina came back in
my gigantic frame safely tucked under some Enya-esque variety of scented blanket
I said thanks a lot for leaving me alone with that alien music
doesn't that creep you out?
"I could change it" she said
what would you like . . . classic rock?
Unlike the Buddha quotation
which is obviously a Facebook meme
everything I have written is true
except for these final lines
which are true but not in this universe.
Trina lit the candle and switched the music
and realized she was in a Ben Camino ironic meditation which ends thus as it must --
dum dum duh duh dum duh dum dum
dum dum duh duh dum duh dum dum
I Can't get No Satisfaction
------ Buddha, Jagger, Richards
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